The More I Know, the More I Realize How Much I Don't Know

By Derek Rydall

Derek RydallI wanted to share an insight and experience I've been having lately, hoping it can give you some comfort and self-compassion for whatever struggles you're going through...

Over the last year, and in a more accelerated way just the last month, I have discovered deep pockets of fear, lack of trust, and protective mechanisms in me that are pretty strong.

It's been one of the most humbling experiences of my life. To see that even after all the work I've done, all the things I've achieved, that I can still have such deep places of disconnection and protection.

I also saw that some things I thought I knew or perceived about some people and myself, I didn't really know. I was totally wrong. Wow, talk about humbling. Phew!

It is and has been my prayer to be a place of unconditional love and truth, so strong in my connection with the divine, so free of all personal attachment, that I can shine love and truth no matter what condition I face...

And what I know more and more is that as we set these powerful intention, everything UNLIKE the truth will come up to be released. And it might not feel good. It sometimes might feel like Armageddon, like death and destruction. It will create confusion and fear...because it is a self-concept that is literally dying.

I feel so much compassion for myself, for this part of me that was caught in an illusion...and my heart is so broken open for all of you (and everyone) that are beating yourselves up because you think you should be further along, or that you're broken or messed up.

Please hear are not are not are not less are a perfect beautiful child of God/Love/Life that is unfolding. And the truth is that no matter how much you think you know, what you don't know is infinitely greater.

This isn't something to be threatened or afraid of, but something to come to terms with, so that we stop judging ourselves and start loving and accepting ourselves at a deeper level...and right where we are.
Your power and safety does not come from asserting your sense of self or proving yourself or giving yourself away to others...your power is in your deep humility and realizing that 'I of myself am nothing...I of myself know nothing...I of myself can do fact I don't have a self separate from life."

In that place of total vulnerability, you are safe and more powerful than you know.

This isn't about acquiescing to conditions or people and putting yourself down, not at all -- this is about awakening to how it really is. It's true that you are nothing apart from life, just like a branch apart from the tree withers and dies.

That's not a negation, that's the supreme affirmation.

And when we can let go of all the coping, protection, defending, self-righteousness, etc... we can begin to realize who we really are...this divine light and love that is indestructible, incorruptible, perfect, whole, complete, and so beautiful that if we were to glimpse it right now we would fall to our knees and worship our true self.
I hope it gives you courage, strength, and hope to know that everyone is struggling. That I, who you may have held up as some more enlightened or wise or powerful person, struggle just like you (and it's a projection of your power :) ...and the gift of that realization is that your struggles, your human flaws, don't actually have the power to stop you from having an amazing life!

I really want you to hear this...and I know I'm being redundant...but YOU ARE ENOUGH. RIGHT NOW. TO HAVE EVERYTHING YOU DESIRE.

So whatever story you've held that you're not ready, that you're too messed up, that everyone else is further ahead, etc... LET IT GO!

It's a lie of the ego. I promise you. I'm telling you what I know....and what you know, deep down.

The only thing stopping you from being and doing and having the life you want is your belief that you or some condition has to be other than it is.

Now is your time. I Am with you. Loving you so deeply. Humbled and honored to be on this path with you.

Stay inspired!

Reprinted with permission from Derek's Facebook page, 12/6/17